


You put the fun in funeral

by kissed



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: Character Death, Crime, M/M, Romance, a lot of blood and gore, crazy people, joker/harleyquinn!au, mentions of shim changmin, not for young people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 10:59:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7712347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissed/pseuds/kissed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yoochun gets captured and gets put into a cell, in a few hours he'll be executed. </p><p>based heavily on the suicide squad movie particularly on the relationship of joker/harley quinn. I just needed to do it. I NEED THIS. hahahaha</p>
            </blockquote>





	You put the fun in funeral

**Author's Note:**

> I am obsessed with the relationship that joker and harley quinn had portrayed in the suicide squad movie so i had to make this, i needed this for my own sanity lol some of the dialogue is also from the movie. I had to make Jaejoong the joker because of this gif 
> 
> https://33.media.tumblr.com/6ec56081bec8029cb467fade4d574f48/tumblr_nkap8gDKKV1rnakr9o2_500.gifand Yoochun doesn't cut the weirdo swag that joker has 
> 
> the italicized ones are the memories yoochun had with jaejoong just in case you got confused 
> 
> also i hadn't written in forever so please be nice to me and comment too hihihi

 

 

 

Yoochun wakes up to angry white lights and bars to keep him inside the cell. This is nothing new, he’s been here since God knows when he hasn’t been really keeping any dates, all he knows is that he’s on death row in a matter hours. One or two men would come in his cell and ask him to get prepared, maybe do some trash talking about how he’s such a scumbag in this world and that he finally gets what he deserves, Yoochun doesn’t really understand what they’re saying but he likes it, he likes that they’re angry, likes that they’re recognising the things he had done in the past.

Park Yoochun will die in death row in a couple of hours, yes. But Park Yoochun will die and be known in the books. He will be featured in newspapers, museums, websites and history. Suck on that, these guard will never be remembered as the people who looked over him in the night, they would not be remembered as the people who sedated and took him down but Yoochun will be.

So he’s kind of excited for it to say the least, he laughs at the thought of being famous.

Death doesn’t scare him, no. He’s been dead long before he had been locked in this facility, he’s done bad things, killed more people than he liked to care to count, fell in love with people he’s supposed to be helping but it turned the other way around. So if you asked him if he was scared of his death? His answer would be a quick no.

 _Let death come, let death come,_ he keeps repeating it under his breath and smiles widely. The voices in his head are typically telling him to have these security fuckers killed, he can though, it’s as easy as 1 2 3 but what does he really do after then? When the only reason for his existence is gone. _Let death come to me,_ he repeats and turns into a chant in his head, all the while he’s laughing real hard at nothing. The security that’s on duty is used to this, Yoochun aimlessly laughing at nothing is not new, they all dub him as the crazy one, which he disagrees.

Everyone is crazy, they’re just too much of a coward to let the crazy out.

-

The locks of the cell springfree, Yoochun is at the end of the cell with his hands behind his back like he’s wearing a straight jacket, his eyes are subdued when he focuses them on the two people that were wearing starched grey suits. In his head he thinks these people are poor unfortunate souls, no color and life in their eyes, living is like a chore for them, they haven’t tasted what life is really about, he laughs whimsically upon seeing these two people come closer.

They stop. They’re afraid, afraid for their lives. See this is the difference between him and normal people, he does not fear anything, people are vulnerable when their lives are threatened and Yoochun? He never felt vulnerable ever since he let the crazy take over him.

“Doctor Park, they’re waiting for you now,” one of the grey suit wearing person say, it stops Yoochun from laughing, every time he hears his name being addressed as doctor he turns into this ugly shade of red inside that he wants to show to these boring suit wearing men so he stands up, walks slowly to them like he’s not going to do anything drastic until he casually whacks one of the men behind his neck causing him to grab it while he falls to his knees and Yoochun spares the other man who didn’t speak of anything ever since he came inside the cell. He was smiling, on the verge of laughing before he spoke whimsically again like he was presenting in the circus-

“I don’t like being called doctor anymore,” and then he closes the cell, locks the two grey suit men inside while he commands the guards to accompany him to the room.

-

_Walking is nice, it helped him wring out the unnecessary stress and red he saw from being called doctor after so many years of being in this joint. The way to the room seemed long, he took his time when walking, the guards didn’t budge because can’t they all grant a crazy man some walking time who is going to die soon by some electrical contraption? Even the douchebags have some drop of sensitivity when it came to this._

_They passed by a room, it looked like it was a one way mirror thing going on. It looked so familiar to him that it made him stop to his tracks, he studies the damn room. Frozen like ice._

_“What did you bring for me this time, doc?” his serial killer patient asked him. He was on the list, the whole world was informed to red alert when they saw him, it was the only way they could capture such a dangerous man. He had killed his family first, claiming they were too insensitive when they gave the better portion of the pie to his older brother than him, he took his father’s shotgun from the basement and blasted them all in the middle of the night. Then he had taken a knife from the kitchen cupboard to continue the opening of lips, he said he wanted to have a bigger smile of his face._

_“Chocolate,”_ Yoochun mouthed like he was in that situation again and not remembering things, _he quickly broke one piece and gave it to his patient, his hands were cold and the scars on his face who looked like a permanent smile is charming. Kim Jaejoong asked his doctor to feed it to him and Yoochun did, the patient extended his mouth to capture the index finger of his doctor and he swirled his tongue on it to get the last bit of chocolate off._

_Yoochun was blushing._

He shook himself out of his reverie, he wouldn’t have changed the past if he could. Falling in love with your mentally ill and dangerous patient wasn’t the most ideal thing in the world but Yoochun would not have it any other way, back when he was living his life as a Psychiatrist he was stable, he was living a comfortable life that not every person could afford but he was bored. Living has become a day to day thing, not something he could look forward to the next day he wakes up, the routine he had unconsciously created is something eating him alive despite being the expert when it came to these kinds of things.

He wanted to feel excitement, he wanted to feel the vivid adventure that life has to offer. The adrenaline he used to have when he was younger, rollercoasters that sent his soul up and then dropped his body down only to have his soul catch it before it hit the ground.

And there, at his lowest point, he gets a letter that he’ll be in charge of the newest inmate of the asylum. Enter Kim Jaejoong with all of his crazy laid out for everyone to see, he looked like a rockstar bathing in old french velvet coats and crocodile shoes that screamed tacky. His hair was a dark shade of green and his pants were violet, his top hat was on his hand that was limp on some sides and his face was covered in white clown make up, eyes layered with thick eyeliner that’s smudged beyond repair, lipstick over lined his lips like a child had put it on him.

It made Yoochun’s heart skip the moment Kim Jaejoong walk into the room with his swagger and crazy, his flamboyant outfit and towering presence, he was the adrenaline he knew he was looking for.

One guard hits a bed in wheels and it breaks Yoochun’s thoughts again, he zeroes in on the object and feels heavy in the chest.

He feels like screaming but he thinks he’ll save the yelling and throat burning when they’re torturing him until he dies, when he pays for living an absolutely fulfilling life.

_He got them out, Kim Jaejoong and his goons. He asked him to get machine guns and he did, it was hell of a mission but Yoochun managed to sneak in guns for him and his goons._

_Everyone in the asylum was dead or had run away for their own lives but here Yoochun is lying down a stretcher they used to electrocute the patients when they were too high for their own good._

_They had strapped him on shut, he couldn’t move his limbs and arms or his body, he could only blink and move his mouth to speak. And there, Kim Jaejoong comes close to him and smiles brightly, almost too whimsically knowing this will be the last time he’ll ever get to see Jaejoong smile with those scars that ruined his perfectly fine face, Yoochun doesn’t regret letting him go even though he know he’ll cause havoc again in the streets of their country._

_“I’m going to hurt you real bad right now,“ Kim Jaejoong says loudly, there’s a small trail of drool running down his chin from too much excitement. Yoochun looks at him in the eyes and says-_

_“You already have,” Jaejoong frowns for a split second before picking back up his smile and moving really close to Yoochun’s face._

_“Don’t fret, my love. I’m just trying to get you on my level,” and then it buzzes, the electric current running through his body and it’s painful, everything is painful and he doesn’t see anything else anymore and he knows he’s dying but he can hear Jaejoong laughing and celebrating in front of him, his eyes are sparkling, his movements are so unpredictable and when Yoochun stops yelling for pain then Jaejoong shuts the machine down._

_Yoochun’s skin had become a little more pale, his thoughts are jumbled but there are other voices joining in the conversation and then he sets his sights on Jaejoong who is dancing away on his crocodile shoes and velvet coat while singing spice girls obnoxiously then he whispers to himself-_

So this is what crazy feels like, _he licks his lips and howls like a wolf in heat, he feels like a new person but not new enough to forget the heart burning sensation when he sees Kim Jaejoong in front of him smiling until it reached his eyes, grabbing his neck and forcing their lips together._

_“Welcome to my world, my darling,”_

-

They arrive at the execution room where there are a few spectators like this is a Russian roulette event but the are dressed in formal fashion, military men ranking higher than any muggle could dream of, people whom he had known from the asylum before, people he knew from the university, people who was were his friends. He sees Changmin in uniform with his medals hanging from his chest, he calls his name out and waves like he’s just bumped into him in the supermarket.

“Changmin, hi! It’s so nice to see you!” Yoochun overreacts, his actions are quite impressive, always giving a show to people because their sorry lives are too mundane.

The people around him, pushing and pulling and making sure he wouldn’t do anything to hurt anyone is annoying so be kicks on guard and asks them nicely to stay away and that he only wants to do a speech before they put him in that contraption.

“Don’t deny a dead man walking from his last wish, that’s bad luck,” one person from the crowd, a very tall good looking man whom looked like a commoner because he was wearing very casual clothes speaks from the back ground and Yoochun lifts his thumb up and winking at the man and yells him a nice big thank you.

“Hi everybody! Thanks for coming to my execution! It means a lot to have a big audience just to see me die, I feel so honoured,” Yoochun does big waves and smiles a lot, directs it to everyone who is either frowning or confused.

“I just wished Jiji was here to witness my death too, if not for him I wouldn’t have lived a wonderful life like this,” his tone is very bright, too fucking bright for someone who is going to die in a matter of minutes. One of the generals flags the guards down to rudely interrupt the speech Yoochun was not yet finished giving but he cooperates, these sad old men are going to die ordinary and nameless.

They strap him on the same stretcher that Jaejoong used before, only this time it’s not the same giddy feeling he had back then but the feeling of longing and sadness suddenly kicks in his eternally dangerous happy state.

He didn’t expect it to be smooth, his death. He knew they would like to see him suffer, so they did the electrocution in parts.

The first buzz was nothing, it gave him good memories to run through again.

_“Would you die for me?” Jaejoong asks, his smile is huge as always, hair all over the place, rain damped cheeks._

_“Yes,” he replies all too quickly and Jaejoong clicks his tongue, shakes his head in disappointment._

_“That’s too easy, how about this. Would you live for me?”_

_“Yes,” Jaejoong smiles dangerously, like he’s going to kill someone._

_“Don’t be so quick to answer little love, you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into,” then he pushes Yoochun into the ledge where the waves are violent and big. All Yoochun could see was how slow he was falling, how high and how cold it is to be in this position but the adrenaline of having to jump high only to fall into a deep pit of angry waves is exhilarating._

_Jaejoong slowly walks away only to shake his head and dives to the waves to follow Yoochun._

Second buzz is much more painful, but nothing Yoochun isn’t used to.

_A typical date night for them is starting slow in a strip club then eventually killing the whole joint and then taking the ferrari out to zoom into another city to terrorize another state. But they miscalculated, not that they planned anything but the police had somehow cornered them into the river and Jaejoong had no choice but to dive for the river._

_That was the last time he saw Jaejoong because the moment his eyes opened he was in a cell that had angry white lights and guards to protect the premises._

There’s a pause from the buzzing and he suddenly feels so tired, his eyesight is a little too hazy for him to see the crowd but he can still feel the heaviness they try to conceal, the crazy inside them just waiting for the perfect moment to burst.

“Any last words, Doctor Park?” the grey suit wearing man who is now wearing a neck brace asked him again with a taunting smile, Yoochun yells _my hand_ and the public directs their attention to his hands, his right hand flicking them all off.

“Kill the psycho!” the grey suit man yelled from the embarrassment.

All the while Yoochun’s brain cells were trying to depict a scene wherein Jaejoong and him were normal and happy, a white picket fence, two kids and a dog that is so clingy. The normal shebang, the ideal shebang they feed you when you enter school.

Before he could feel the buzz, he hears a series of high intensity gunshots and when he opens his eyes he sees the audience dead.

Changmin is dead with his medals still shining, well the parts that aren’t covered in blood and the grey suit man is just another body in the pile of dead people in front of him, the silence is deafening but it gives great platform for the voices in his head to talk to him. T

hen a man with such familiar swagger and flamboyance cuts through the gunpowder smoke and out comes Jaejoong’s smiling face, scars, makeup and green hair. His smile still creepy, his eyes still scream crazy and Yoochun thinks he’s alive again.

“Surprise, surprise my love!” Jaejoong claps with his blinged out hands, his arms are filled with gold bracelet with diamonds and now he’s sporting a cane. Yoochun could only smile.

“I would have dressed up, you should have told me you’d come,” the last of the straps were slit through and Yoochun feels wobbly from all that electrocution earlier but seeing Jaejoong after what felt like a million years had somehow gave him the strength to jump up and wrap his legs around Jaejoong to hug him.

“I wouldn’t call that a surprise then,” Jaejoong laughs, supporting Yoochun’s weight. Nothing has changed over the years.

“I told you, if you die, I die, remember?” And Yoochun nods and kisses Jaejoong’s crazy face, makeup smearing all over his lips and teeth. He smells like a new car smell and wonders what’s waiting for them outside, the voices in his head are going crazy and for once, Yoochun decides to shut them out.

 

 


End file.
